July 2010
9 posts
Behind ze Music
Jon: Remember when Milli Vanilli came out with that new album?
Harper: What? When did they come out with a new album?
Jon: Oh. Like… Years ago. After they were blackballed from the music industry for being frauds.
Harper: Get out!
Mike: No, it’s true. They did.
Harper: You don’t say…
Jon: They put out a whole album, but with their voices.
Harper: What did they sound like?
Jon: Extremely German, if I recall.
Mike: Way German…
Harper: And it was all new stuff?
Jon: No. I think it was mostly their old hits, but with them actually singing… and also fused with a heavy German accent. Like… “Blame it on ze rain!”
Mike: “Girl you know it’s ze true. Oh oh oh. i lieb you.”
Harper: Seriously?
Mike: The man speaks the truth, Harper.
Jon: Yeah, but they weren’t called “Milli Vanilli” anymore. They went by their real names. “Rob & Fab.”
Harper: Are you guys fucking with me?
Mike: Ah… Good ol’ Fabrice Morvan. Didn’t he die?
Jon: No Mike. That was Rob Pilatus.
Harper: Oh no! Rob died? How the hell did Rob die?
Jon: Drowned.
Harper: Oh my God, that’s tragic! Right after the comeback?
Jon: I wouldn’t exactly call it a comeback. It turns out that their big debut album tanked, which sent Rob into a depressive downward spiral. The failure of the “Rob & Fab” album made Rob commit suicide.
Mike: Wait… he drowned?
Jon: Legend has it that he went out into the ocean and never came back.
Harper: Like, he jumped off a cliff into the water?
Jon: No. He was staring out at the horizon one morning and… I dunno. He just walked out into the ocean I think.
Harper: And?
Jon: And he never came back.
Harper: Wow.
Mike: The legend of Rob Pilatus
Harper: What an incredible true story… I’m definitely going to have Hilary fact-check it on Wikipedia when we get back inside.
“You’re difficult. You will make a good point, and I will acknowledge it. ...”
– Joshua Boydstun
“Dreams are the touchstones of our character.”
– Henry David Thoreau
