Things That I Dork Out Over:  Ninja Turtles

This might have been something that made me cool a loser in elementary school, but I never really cared.  The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were the shit.  In fact, when I first got an apartment in Times Square not so long ago, they went ahead and made this TMNT movie.  So like a badass loser, I discretely snuck out down the street to the movie theatre at 9AM on a Saturday by myself to see what it was all about.  And as I sat there, I realized something.  This shit… was awesome.

It wasn’t just awesome because it made me feel like I was 9 again, something most of my friends, ex-girlfriends, and family claim I am anyway, on a daily basis.  No, this was awesome because it took the the subtle things we liked as kids and exploited them in ways we were always hoping would happen.

This scene above is awesome because it had two things going on that you never would have seen in the 90’s even though it was hinted at all the time.  Leonardo is this ultimate brown nose that you root for because he’s the leader of the gang.  You have to root for him, even if it’s somewhat begrudgingly.  Then again, you did root for him because he wasn’t annoyingly perfect.  He was awesome at everything, yes, but beneath it all, he was also kind of insecure, which made you empathize with him.  Everyone knows people like that.

Then there’s a guy like Raphael, an outcast, who talks a lot of shit and is sarcastic about everything.  He’s kind of a douche on the surface, but at the end of the day, a quintessential good guy who everyone has figured wrong.  He always manages to come through for people, but never gets half the credit of the other turtles because of how he carries himself.  He was always the one that I identified with in just about every way.  He also had a cool weapon: dual sais.

The other two guys  were a lot more two diminutional.  Donatello was super smart and Michelangelo liked to have fun.  He was mostly everyone’s favorite as a kid.

Anyway, the point here being, the fragile relationship and personality clash between Raphael and Leonardo is beautifully tested in this movie.  It’s the ultimate of “good guy versus the bad guy trying to do good” scenario.  It brings up a lot of questions about friendship and compassion as well as issues regarding leadership and how a lot of times, maybe people should be allowed to be who they are.  Beyond all that, Raphael finally kicked the good kid’s ass after waiting 17 years to do so, (which I totally dorked out over like a stud loser.) It wasn’t even just awesome because Raph wins, but because suddenly you feel for Leonardo, which is nice because you never did before since he was always just so good at everything.  You get that weird hope like it’s the kick in the pants this CGI mutant turtle (I can’t believe I just fucking wrote those words incidentally) needs to get that long awaited attitude adjustment.  (SPOILER: It is, and he manages to become a whole lot more likable by the end of it all)  

Anyway, watch it. I won’t tell anyone you did.  It can be a secret.