• Mom: Where have you been? We've been calling you.
  • Jon: I've been taking yoga classes after work.
  • Mom: Yoga? Like stretching things?
  • Jon: Yeah. But it's "Bikram Yoga" so it's actually a lot more intense...
  • Mom: WHAT!? That sounds incredibly dangerous! What the hell is wrong with you!?
  • Jon: Oh. Give me a break. You're ridiculous...
  • Mom: So what? You have to fight people? Is there fighting? You've joined a gang? I swear, even as a kid you were always trying and doing crazy things -- playing stupid sports and acting like a daredevil. You're going to give me a heart attack. Is that what you want?
  • Jon: What the hell are you talking about?
  • Mom: I don't like the sound of "Victim Yoga!"
  • Me: It's Bikram Yoga, you retard. Not "Victim." Sometimes I wonder why I try explaining anything to you...